There’s that word again, bully. Before my recent experience with a corporate bully, I would never have dreamed that I would write a sentence that contained the words, true Self and bully. But here I am doing it and for a good reason.
I’m working to heal and integrate what just happened to me while I was being bullied at work. My intention is to let it go and move on. Or at least I thought it was but now I’m re-thinking it. I mean, where exactly is it that I am looking to move on to?
As I have been “bully” free for five weeks now, I am coming to understand that for me, this is not about moving on, as much as it is about stepping back into my personal power.
So where does my personal power come from anyway? Well, I’m a Soul-based human being and I know that true power doesn’t come from anything outside the Self. It comes from aligning my personality with the energy and nature of the Soul. And here is where I most hurt right now.
You see I could analyze this thing to death trying to figure out what made the bully tick and how I was affected by the force of her abuse. And trust me; I’m a researcher and a truth-seeker so I’ve been studying this bully thing all along, and it’s been important because I would need awareness of the problem in order to heal.
In the end though, I feel strongly that what God needs me to see and understand most about the bullying, is that something very simple happened that turned out to feel really big, bad and ugly. At some point during this toxic relationship I shifted from living, thinking and feeling from a consciousness of love and unity, to one of fear and separation.
I’ve come a long way toward healing in five short weeks. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones because while my Soul-based life didn’t insulate me from the trauma of being bullied, the deep connection I had to my true Self, my immortal Soul before this all happened, is what is allowing me to heal more quickly than most.
Namaste and Blessings,
I’ve been very fortunate to have people who truly love me, giving me support through the many months I worked with the bully. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve since let go of that toxic relationship and am slowly returning to a place of recovered power.
One of these people is my dear friend Sue, who also happens to be my manicurist. I met Sue several months before I started working with the bully. I had no idea at the time what a gift from the Divine Sue would turn out to be, and still is for me.
We hit it off right away and I began to have her give me a gel manicure every two weeks. I knew that there was something very special about her from the start. She had this way of making me feel welcomed and appreciated whenever I saw her smiling face that always lifted me up. I’ve come to call her my “color whisperer” because she has this knack for picking the perfect nail color to brighten my mood.
Sue is also a terrific listener, super accepting, loving and in my opinion has the patience of a saint. No doubt she was going to need all of those qualities and more, watching me descend through the layers of sadness, anger and eventually sheer brokenness that I would go through as I endured daily mistreatment at the hands of a corporate bully.
Week after week Sue listened to my latest horror story about what the bully had dished out for me to cope with since she had last seen me. And to say that she was compassionate and accepting is an understatement. On the surface I was going to Sue to have her give me a manicure, but the truth is that it was much more than that to me.
Sue’s loving presence was helping me to keep polished my Soul connection. When I looked in her eyes I saw my own Soul reflected. She held the space for me to remember just how good I really am and how none of what was happening to me was my fault. She was able to love me as much for my struggles as for my strengths, something truly rare in our fast paced world today.
I feel incredibly blessed and grateful to have Sue in my life. We all need someone like Sue in our lives, a true friend who is willing and able to stick around when our story gets heavy.
It is Sue’s birthday this week, and I would like to wish her a beautiful and happy b-day! You deserve it my dear friend. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing with me your heart of gold.
Love and blessings,
Living from my immortal Soul is my deepest and most cherished value. As a matter of fact sharing my experience of Soul-based living is my passion and purpose in life.
Twelve months ago I started a new job with high hopes that it would turn out to be an exciting career path for me.
When I entered the doors of the office for the first time I brought my happy contented self, the lover in me, who lived to align with the energy and nature of the Soul.
I was brimming with enthusiasm, gratitude, personal power and the belief that within everyone is the potential to awaken to the true Self.
I had no way of knowing at the time, that I was about to enter into a relationship with a truly disordered personality who would wreak havoc on my mind, emotions and Soul-based life.
When I exited the doors of the office for the last time, just a few short weeks ago, I did so to save myself from the living hell my life had become working with this miserable human being.
I want to share my story of being bullied in the corporate world, and surviving it, in the hopes of helping others who might find themselves in a similar maddening situation. I need to make it clear that my deep connection to God and my Soul did not insulate me from the suffering I experienced at the hands of the bully.
Sadly, it would become clear to me that I had been targeted by the bully because of my Soul-based qualities. I mean who better to target than someone with a big old loving heart, who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and feel things deeply. A human being who radiates love feeling empathy and compassion for human suffering, in whatever forms it takes.
When I began working with the bully, I believed these qualities in me were things to be admired and enjoyed by others. As I left the experience, it was like I had been stripped of my innocence, because a new reality had formed for me. In the mind of someone severely disordered, ungrounded and unclear when it comes to love, these qualities are not only unappreciated, they are despised.
In a nutshell, the best in me would bring out the worst in her. It would become the fuel for the emotional and mental abuse she would inflict on me day in and day out, until I could no longer cope. Months of living in fight/flight mode had put me into a state of physical exhaustion I did not know existed.
Emotionally I was fried; my compassion button had been short-circuited. I had fallen into a deep dark bucket of fear and walked away feeling numb and empty, terrified that I would never feel love again.
This first little article is just the beginning of the story I have to tell about the Soul and the Bully. I am certain it will take me many weeks to share all that I have learned from the pain of this experience and what it has taught me about being able to love without condition.
The bully did not know me and was incapable of seeing the “real” me. And in my personal life she had no way of knowing that I was working with gifted spiritual coaches who were helping me to process all of this in a way that would be bringing love to the wounded parts of me that needed it the most.
Yes, I was hurting having to deal with this bully, but I was also healing and digging deeper than I had ever done before to evolve and transform a lifetime filled with abuse, depression and anxiety into a new level of emotional freedom.
The story will continue. Stay tuned.
Much love and blessings,
“At the Soul level, the future is always open because unseen possibilities can always awaken.” –Deepak Chopra
Life is often times; about beginnings and endings wouldn’t you say?
And, if we want to, we can choose to view each day that we
are blessed to be on the planet, as a new beginning. I’m not sure the Soul see’s it exactly in
this way though, since our Soul is the eternal part of us. It was there before we were born and will
remain for all eternity after we die.
Our Soul has no beginning and no end. It is one with all of life and it
never needs to be “restarted” because it never turns off, and it never will. Right now, in my life, I need to hit the
restart button on my blogging. And this will be my first blog post since January of this year. Yikes, has it really been that long. These months since I have last written have
been a time of deep inner work and spiritual transformation for me. I have dealt with more beginnings and endings than I care to recount. And through all of them I did my best to move ever closer to the level of my Soul, my true Self, instead of away from it. Next time you find yourself facing a new
beginning or even an ending, trust in your Soul to guide you. It always will and for that I am certain.
Namaste and Blessings,
“I honor that place within you where if you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.”-Ram Dass
What is your favorite way to greet a friend? Is it with a smile, a warm hello or a big hug? I know that I greet friends in this way very often. It’s actually a pretty common and well accepted thing to do right? I also have another way that I greet others, and it’s silently, with the beautiful Hindu greeting, Namaste.
In his book, Loyalty to Your Soul: The Heart of Spiritual Psychology (2010), author H. Ronald Hulnick describes the essence of Namaste in this way:
“We call it seeing the Loving Essence, which is the practice of seeing yourself and others through the eyes of Loving. It involves moving into a frame of reference where you begin seeing everyone as a Divine Being having a human experience regardless of what’s going on in the individual’s physical-world reality or between the two of you. This is conscious, intentional practice of the essential message contained in, Namaste, which means: “I bow to the Divinity inherent in you. The Soul within me recognizes, acknowledges, respects and appreciates the Soul within you; for in reality, we are one-we are both drops within the same ocean”.
I always get chills reading this inspiring interpretation of Namaste by H. Ronald Hulnick. I find it most pleasing and delightful to the Soul and positively Soul-licious! I invite you to try using this silent blessing with everyone you encounter for one week. Just quietly inside yourself, feel into your spiritual heart and wish that person, Namaste. I think that you will be amazed to see and feel the remarkable upshift of positive energy it creates.
With love and gratitude!
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”-Dalai Lama
|Are you aware that your Soul cherishes compassion? And, that feeling compassion for yourself and others can actually awaken powerful healing energies inside of you?
I love this passage about compassion from the book, Shaman Wisdom, Shaman Healing: Deepen Your Ability to Heal with Visionary and Spiritual Tools and Practices, by Michael Samuels, M.D. and Mary Rockwood Lane, PH.D. (2003):
“The Spirit Body Healing method is about feeling compassion for yourself. In Buddhist meditation you go to a place where there is total compassion. You go to a place where you restory your life from compassion and love. Become compassionate for yourself by seeing yourself from a distance, from outside. Stand back and say, “Look at her. She needs.” In a moment of witness, of reflection, see what you need to heal. When you see yourself with compassion, you can tend to your body as a sacred body; tend to your emotions as natural forces that move through you. You can honor intuitions and insights, be illuminated to find your place in the world. The Spirit Body healing method is about feeling healing energy. When you feel the energy of the universe flowing through you, you will heal.”
We have all experienced painful situations in our lives. And each one of us deserves compassion and empathy for our pain and suffering. Our immortal Soul loves us without condition, and a big part of being able to feel the healing energy of Divine love is allowing ourselves to feel compassion. In the end, whatever we give to another we ultimately give to ourselves. We must always remember that we are One Family joined in love.
“Compassion is in each of us: it is the ultimate answer, the one I aspire to, to teach my patients and to shout from the rooftops.”- Judith Orloff, M.D.
“One of the fastest ways to reach into your soul is to surround yourself with an attitude of appreciation and gratitude. We get so busy in our lives that we forget to be thankful for all that we have and all that we are, yet gratitude is a key to happiness. What you focus on in life is what you create. When you focus on what you are grateful for, you bring more of those things into your life. Yet, when you focus on what you lack, you send a strong message to the universe that you are lacking, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And when you concentrate on how truly appreciative you are for what you have and for who you are, miracles abound.”
I say, let’s make a few miracles happen! Even just for today, let’s focus on what is great in our lives and, in each and every person we encounter. Let’s all say, “thank you”, “I appreciate you” and “I love you”, as often as possible. And whenever we catch ourselves saying it to someone else, let us remember to say it to our own beautiful unique self too!
I love you! Thank you!
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”- William Arthur Ward
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”-Joseph Campbell
How do you define “bliss”? At www.freedictionary.com , “bliss” is defined as: extreme happiness, ecstasy or spiritual joy. Personally, I find a warm therapeutic foot soak or a spa pedicure to be pure bliss! But, how can we add more blissful moments to our normal everyday stressful lives? In her book, The Bliss Principle, author and yoga instructor, Kellye Davis, has this to say about the importance of finding blissful moments in our day, “Like a red flashing light at a train crossing, your peace urge cautions you to stop. It tells you that you’re going beyond your boundaries and that you’re spent. You’ve been carrying too heavy a load for too long. We know the peace urge intuitively. The desire to refuel spiritually and emotionally is innate.”
She goes on to offer these 7 simple steps to satisfying our peace urge and finding bliss:
- Take Deep Breaths-take 2-10 deep breaths and just notice them. By simply paying attention to your breath, you’re likely to experience an automatic calming effect. I find taking deep breaths throughout the day centers and grounds me, allowing Divine love to flow.
- Repeat a Mantra-a mantra is a spiritually charged word or phrase. Find something that uplifts you and use it regularly (e.g. love, peace, tranquility or Om). I often repeat the word, Soul or Soul love, throughout the day.
- Listen to Beautiful Music-relax and listen to music with the sounds of nature or ocean waves, something soothing. I enjoy the music by artist Marcome, and I love Piano by the Sea, a gift to me from my dear friend Suz, @mssuzcatsilver on Twitter.
- Move your Body-practice yoga, take a relaxing walk or do some stretching. Movement releases stress and creates an internal shift. I love doing some simple yoga postures early in the morning to start my day.
- Create a Tranquility Altar-it can be large or small. Fill it with lovely things that honor all that is peaceful and calm, and connects you to Spirit. Try adding candles, crystals, photos and flowers. I have several in my home, and I even travel with one that I made inside a cigar box.
- Capture the Power of Scent-use aromatherapy, or essential oils like lavender or ylang ylang. Add some to your bath or shower. I enjoy the aromatherapy room mists made by www.ezencia.com. They even have one called, Bliss, a favorite of mine!
- Drink Healing Teas-herbal teas taste great, provide health and balance to the body and mind and also hydrate! I like chamomile, peppermint and ginger. Celestial Seasonings brand makes a lovely sweet apple chamomile that I often relax with before bedtime.
Thanks to author, Kellye Davis, for a simply Soul-licious list, of ways to find bliss!
I’d love if you would please take a moment to comment and share with us, the ways that you have found to experience bliss.
“The soul is a garden enclosed, our own perpetual paradise where we can be refreshed and restored.”-Thomas Moore
“Don’t worry, be happy.” Bobby McFerrin
Are you familiar with the song, Don’t Worry Be Happy, by Bobby McFerrin? Has it started playing in your head yet? Well, it won a Grammy award in 1988 for “Best Song of the Year”, and I remember at the time, I totally hated the song. Whenever it came on the radio, I turned it off. In those days I was such a worrier that my ego mind couldn’t wrap itself around the possibility that I could ever just not worry and be happy.
Today, I worry very little. And, I have the deep connection with Spirit and my Soul that I have plugged into, to thank for that miracle. Simply stated, I put my trust in the Divine, and I live more fully in the present moment. This way of Being does a number on worry, keeping it firmly in the backseat.
If I do feel a moment of worry, rising up inside of me, I like to re-read the following passage from author and Energy Psychiatrist, Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, Positive Energy (2004):
“Worry makes us feel alone and unsafe, with no one to help us. This meditation, from a 2,500-year old Buddhist practice builds loving-kindness in yourself. Begin by finding a relaxed position; take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, repeat inwardly the following phrases to lift worry. As you do, picture yourself as a precious child, or as your current self cradled in the arms of love.
May I be free of worry
May I be well
May I feel safe and at ease
May I be at peace
These phrases shift energy from negative to positive. Keep repeating them silently whenever worry sets in.”
If you are not a worrier, congrats! If you do struggle sometimes with worry, give this beautiful meditation a try. It’s worked for me many a time and I know it will work for you too! Always remember, you are never alone, Spirit is always walking with you.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it for themselves.-James M. Barrie
Do you give yourself permission to shine your light in the world? What I’m talking about here is sharing your love, and the joy that you have uncovered in your life. The world needs your light; it needs your love, right now! It’s actually quite natural to want to share the love you feel, the joy that you experience; the more it rises up in your own heart.
Author, Shaeri Richards provides these thoughts on sharing love in her book, Dancing with your Dragon; The Art of Loving your Unlovable Self (2011): “For me, love is the true golden gift. Love is the treasure of all treasures. I mean this quite literally. But what is love? Most of my life I thought that love was something to get. I felt so needy to receive love that I failed to realize the incredible gift of giving it. Love can be expressed in many ways. It can be expressed through laughter, thoughtful conversation, nurturing, artistic expression, and even just through listening. I’ve learned the act of giving love brings me just as much pleasure as the act of receiving love. The trick is not to be attached to the love. The trick is not to worry about whether I’m recognized or honored for giving it, or whether anyone gives back.”
So what better gift could anyone of us give, especially with the holidays fast approaching, than the golden gift of our love? Let’s all let our radiant Divine light shine on! Sometimes, all it takes is remembering to greet the world with a smile on our face, and a song in our heart. It will make us feel good and I’m betting a whole lot of other people will feel good along the way too.
Love is the beauty of the soul.-St. Augustine